If You Want to Live… (Drawn from conversations in the last few months)

Originally posted on Tembua’s website.

If you want to live…
Don’t ask the barista to describe in detail every possible variation of the coffee drinks available at 6:30 on a Monday morning. The people behind you in line are already in a bad mood.

When driving in the left lane at a sensible 40 mph, don’t smile at the drivers passing you in the right lane. Their hand gesture is not a friendly wave.

“Gee, ma’am, it shouldn’t do that” is not a good tech support response to someone who has been battling a computer problem for 6 hours. Strangely enough, most people know their computers shouldn’t do whatever it is they’re calling tech support about.

Don’t fill out your life insurance application at the drive-thru at the bank. The driver of the 17th car behind you may make that insurance useful to your next of kin.

Teach your dog what grass is his and what isn’t or some morning you will find a stinky surprise on your doorstep.

Don’t take your day care charges to the grocery store for a lesson in choosing healthy food on the day before a major holiday. Bloodshed is traumatizing for young children.

Don’t take the hungry, tired, crying children you just picked up at day care to the deli counter while you leisurely choose dinner. The people behind you with hungry, tired, crying children are on the verge of violence as it is, and the hungry, tired people between you are on the verge of tears.

When the service counter staff says, “I can help whoever’s next,” you do get special points for having just strolled in the door, but when you try to redeem them by going to the front of the line, the people who have been waiting patiently for a very long time are legally allowed to break your leg.

Never say, “I don’t know, I just work here” or any variation thereof. You never know when that line will turn out to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back — and maybe yours.

Don’t require your telephone staff to pitch numerous extra products to every single caller before completing their request. Someday someone with knowledge of plastic explosives is going to visit your headquarters and then the only thing anyone will be buying is the farm.

Thank you! I feel better already!


About tembua

Tembua: The Precision Language Solution provides comprehensive linguistic services for 100 languages to private industry and government agencies on a global scale. Services include document and website translation and localization; conference and 24/7 telephonic interpretation; glossary development; proofreading, text adaptation, editing, multilingual design and DTP; transcription; technical / custom authoring editing, foreign search engine optimization; translation memory management; subtitling.
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